


What have I done

by Anonymous



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Eproctophilia, Farting, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Scat, just in regards to spiking the food, last chance to turn away, this is gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27766084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: This is literally a fart/shit fic, don't like it don't look you've been warned
Relationships: implied eskel/geralt
Kudos: 8
Collections: Anonymous





	What have I done

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: How about Geralt just being very much into his brother’s gas, taking it upon himself to cook dinner for the lot just so he can listen as their stomachs rumbles before a wet fart escapes, watch as they squirm in their seats from the embarrassment. Maybe he even manages to get them to have an ciident right there, knowing how firm Vesemir is on table manners and forcing them to stay where they are even as cramps roll over their belleis and they just can’t keep it in.

If he had to say when it started it would probably be when they were boys, they being he and Eskel. Back then Eskel had had… problems to say the least, stomach aches that would have him groaning for half the night and of course the gas. One of their classmates at the time said that they could bottle Eskel’s gas and it could knock a werewolf flat on its ass, they’d never tried it of course but he was probably right.

Back then all he’d seen was that his friend was in pain and he was becoming an outcast, the other boys sharing their dorm grilling and harassing him relentlessly for it when it was something he clearly couldn’t control. They moved their attention to him when they learned half the time he got into Eskel’s bed with him, spooned behind him so that he could rub his belly and help soothe whatever ache tormented him that night, and if those nights he would have to angle his hips away because the feeling of Eskel farting against his cock was just too good, well that was his business.

It somehow had only gotten worse after the mutations so eventually, he and Eskel figured it out, they kept a diary of everything Eskel ever did or ate and learned he had some kind of reaction to dairy. In other circumstances, it would be easy to avoid, but in a keep of witchers to feed, you ate what you were given, consequences be damned. So it had been that Eskel tried to limit the dairy he ate, but when it came to the fourth day and all he’d eaten was a handful of fruit he had no choice but to eat the buttered mash and greens and the cream-filled sauce. Living with mages had its perks, just not for Eskel.

That night Geralt had long been sworn never to talk about and had resulted in the rest of their class changing dorms, Eskel even insisted he move to, but Geralt refused to leave his friend in distress and so that how they came to share a bed every night, with Geralt rubbing Eskel’s stomach to help soothe him to sleep whilst he weathered the consequences, gladfully mind you.

After the siege, with supplies much scarcer and it just being the four of them Eskel no longer had such trouble and he was shameful enough to admit he missed it. Missed feeling needed and sharing his bed with his brother, comforting him and looking after him, and yes even being farted on. That in itself had been its own revelation and had been some of his most mind-blowing orgasms to date still, so yeah he missed it.

He doesn’t know how he managed it, but he managed to convince Vesemir that he could make dinner that night. Vesemir had agreed albeit reluctantly, but he’d grumbled about stores and repairs and he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He wasn’t going to make anything fancy, just a simple soup, which thankfully a preservation from Yennefer meant he had both cream and cheese at his disposal. He also had a handful of some sort of beans with him, he wasn’t too sure exactly what they were or where they came from, they’d just been given to him as part of his payment on a contract and when he went to add it to their stew that evening, Jaskier had all but smacked them out of his hands, surprising them both, as he said his gas was bad enough and that whilst he put up with a lot, he wouldn’t put up with Geralt farting all night after eating them. So, he had pocketed them and would serve his purpose now.

In the end, he only spiked Eskel and Lambert’s dinner, he wasn’t willing to suffer through anything tonight because he fully intended to use it to look after Eskel, well he hoped anyway. As for Lambert he was just a prick, a prick that didn’t give a fuck, and watching him be rude in front of prim and proper Vesemir and the ensuing chaos was too good an opportunity to pass up.

He first gave Eskel his food, the witcher would be able to smell the dairy in it and if Eskel called him out on it he would switch out his bowl, he wasn’t heartless after all, but as he gave Lambert and Vesemir their bowls, Eskel stared him dead in the eye, almost a challenge in his eye as he brought the first spoonful to his mouth.

It was only when he got about halfway through his bowl that Eskel made his discomfort known. Admittedly he hadn’t expected it to act so fast, but after decades of avoiding the stuff, eating it now would probably wreak havoc on Eskel’s stomach, and yet he kept eating. He sat beside Eskel and it wasn’t too long after that that he heard the noises, the groaning and protesting of his stomach as he carried on eating his dinner and it was one cramp that had Eskel muttering out a swear and a small fart follow it.

There was silence in the room, quickly followed by Lambert’s laughter which earned him a smack on the head by Vesemir as he was told to mind his own business. It only got worse from there.

It seemed like every other breath was filled with the sound and smell of Eskel farting with the occasional burp, it had long gone from entertaining even Lambert and were forced to watch Eskel abandon what little remained of his food, hunched over his stomach as he pushed out a loud fart that rumbled against the bench so that Geralt could feel, dick already hard and leaking in his pants since Eskel started.

Vesemir hadn’t said a word throughout but it could be seen on his face that he wanted to say something as Eskel’s gas just got worse, as it got longer and louder and wetter. IN one of the brief moments of silence they all heard Vesemir clear his throat, and saw him look expectantly at Eskel before saying ‘is there something you want to say wolf’

What followed after was a disgustingly loud fart that practically echoed around the room for several seconds and when it had quietened to a low rumble against the bench all they heard was Eskel say that that one wasn’t him. Immediately his eyes darted to Lambert who looked almost sheepish and shifted uncomfortably before another burst of gas was heard, quieter this time but that meant little in a room full of witchers.

“Geralt I don’t know what the fuck you did but I know it’s your fault” He looked mock offended as Lambert gave him the finger punctuated with a short fart that had Vesemir getting out a curt ‘Lambert’ as if that was going to stop the onslaught.

A groan from Eskel brought his attention back to him just in time to watch him hunch over and groan as a loud, wet fart was pushed out against the bench, but as soon as it stopped it was followed by another and another only getting shorter and wetter letting them all know how dire the situation was.

With a cry and a short fart that sounded like Eskel had actually just shit himself, he turned his eyes to Vesemir who looked pitifully into his dinner as Lambert leaned to one side and let out a long series of farts before patting his belly with a laugh as he saw the older witcher clenching his jaw and his spoon so tight he was surprised it hadn’t snapped yet.

“Vesemir” They watched as the older witcher stared up at Eskel, a fire in his eyes as Eskel’s stomach gurgled rather ominously, punctuated with another low, wet fart that had them all wince at the smell “May I be excused, Vesemir, please”

“Go, and let's hope you’ve found your manners come morning” He swore he could see tears in Eskel’s eyes as he gratefully nodded and made as if to stand up but stopped as he put a hand on his stomach, kneading it for a moment before he grunted and another wet fart vibrated the bench under him, only Eskel turned panicked eyes to him, begging for help “Eskel, I told you to leave”

“I can’t, I’ll-“ Eskel broke off with a couple of swears and a strained groan, fidgeting in his seat and he found he couldn’t sit and wait any longer.

He stood up from his seat and his eyes darted toward Lambert when the other witcher leaned forward with a groan to let out a few short farts, unaware of Vesemir’s eyes narrowed at him as the younger witcher tensed before letting out a sigh at the same time as he also let out a long, rancid fart that even burned the hairs in his nose, but that wasn’t his focus now.

Instead, he moved behind Eskel, offering a comforting hand to his shoulder which did little to ease his brother as he struggled to maintain control. He’s sure Eskel could feel his hard on pressed against his back, especially when it twitched with another series of farts from Lambert, and if he couldn’t then he soon would as he bent down to wrap his arms around Eskels front.

It was easy to lift his brother up who was practically boneless at that point, so focused on his task simply not to shit himself then and there it didn’t take much to brace Eskel against him, however, it seemed moving and gravity had finally caught up and Eskel couldn’t even utter out an apology before he was shitting himself.

There was complete silence apart from that of Eskel whining as wave after wave of wet shit left him and stained the back of his pants, punctuated by wet farts that were probably filling up the back of his pants even more. All he could do was hold Eskel close, rubbing his stomach to try and soothe the ache and surreptitiously trying to grind his cock against the seat of Eskel’s pants, hoping the other witcher didn’t notice.

It felt like it went on for an age, but finally, Eskel braced a hand on his arm and stood on his feet, muttering an apology before practically running out of the room. Lambert quickly followed after, small farts leaving him with every step as the younger witcher raced back to his room, and so he was left with Vesemir who looked half frustrated and half forlorn as he stared into his dinner.

“That’ll be the last time you ever cook in these halls Geralt, I’ll clean up, you make sure Eskel hasn’t shit out his spleen” He just nodded, not wanting to stay any longer, he already knew his punishment would be dire but he would at least enjoy tonight, or try to at least if Eskel could forgive him. If not, then at least he had enough jerk off material for another decade, maybe two.

He spends a moment just stood outside Eskel’s door and he doesn’t hear much, just him shuffling around in bed with the occasional groan or fart until eventually, he wills himself to knock on the door.

The door’s already open because of course Eskel knew he would come, and seeing his brother pale and sweating, but clean in his bed makes him regret ever plotting this idea to begin with, at least until Eskel turns to him with a strained smile on his face.

“You’re a disgusting perv, you know that” He was stunned, to say the least, so Eskel did notice when he was grinding up against him whilst he was shitting himself. He was about to deny it, to apologize, something, before Eskel interrupted “I knew Geralt, I always knew, why do you think I ate that shit if it wasn’t for your sake”

Geralt could only stare at his brother at that, the fact that all those years of secrecy had not been that secret had a pit open in his stomach, and he was ready to face a horde of monsters rather than address it. Even if Eskel didn’t hate him for it, it was something even he could never imagine actually happening, and he was about to run off in an attempt to just put all this behind them, ignore it ever happened, but of course, Eskel knew him better than that.

“You’re not getting away with it that easily Geralt, you put me into this mess, only fair you should see me through till the end of it, whenever that is” He watched Eskel turn away from him and lift the covers, inviting him to join, punctuated with a soft fart he could only just hear through the covers and almost unbidden he found himself stalking closer to help his brother through the night.


End file.
